The Artist Way | Week 2.
Recovering a Sense of Identity.
Me, Morag - in a fucking tree.
I climbed a tree.
And that was the highlight of my week. End of blog post.
I set it as my goal, and I stuck with it. I didn’t have many epiphanies or insights throughout the week. But, perhaps one thing I need to think about and consider is, you know, the “thinking” part is way WORSE than the “doing” part.
Like, I get in my own way a lot. Like A LOT, A LOT. I almost chickened out from going out and finding my tree, but I did it and as soon as I was up there, all my worries, all the things I was concerned about, vanished.
I MEAN… DON’T I LOOK BEAUTIFUL? I could actually feel the stress of all the adulting bullshit leave my body and I was back to being a kid a again. So I think that is my biggest takeaway. Whatever it is that you want to do. Just do it. It’s so much harder not to do it.
I’m also now in Hong Kong. Adventuring. But with this, I’m noticing a sudden decrease in motivation. The excitement from the first week is wearing off a little, I think.
Could this all come together? Could I maybe get off the treadmill of a “wannabe” artist and instead just be one?
Please note that I wrote this in a series of blurts and bursts. It did not come out of me in one swift, painless motion. It was a complicated mess, and I will have to (have had to) go back and fix it. Editing is an act of God.
Artist Date? That was an hour and thirty minutes walk around The Peak in Hong Kong. I got away from the family. I listened to Marlon Williams and Stormzy (a bizarre combination, but it was to help generate some inspiration for my TV Show).
Crazymakers. “If crazymakers are that destructive, what are we doing involved with them? The answer, to be brief but brutal, is that we’re that crazy ourselves and we are that self-destructive”. Basically, this book should be renamed “Crazymakers Anonymous”. I concur, my ‘crazymaker is block [I] chose for myself, to deter [myself] from [my] own trajectory’. I mean fucking hell, I spent at least two weeks complaining about someone from work and all that energy was just taking away from what I really want to be doing, writing, acting, doing creative things. And funny enough, the more writing I do, the more likely I am to quit that job and get away from that crazymaker.
So, how do I stop it from bothering me?
No clue.
“Each moment, taken alone, was always bearable. [...] The night my mother died, I got the call, took my sweater, and set out up the hill behind my house. A great snowy moon was rising behind the palm trees. [...] When I think now about my mother’s death, I remember that snowy moon.”
Rules of the Road
Show up at the page. Use the ‘page’ to rest, to dream, to try.
Fill the well by caring for my artist.
Set small and gentle goals and meet them.
Pray for guidance, courage, and humility.
Remember that it is far harder and more painful to be a blocked artist than it is to do the work.
Be alert, always, for the presence of the Great Creator, keeping and helping my artist.
Choose companions who encourage me to do the work, not just talk about doing the work or why I am not doing the work.
Remember that the Great Creator loves creativity.
Remember that it is my job to do the work, not judge the work.
Place this sign in my workplace: Great Creator, I will take care of the quantity. You take care of the quality.
I wrote my morning pages every morning. Although I kept forgetting to do my affirmations. Remember. I hate them. But I’m trying to keep an open mind. I’ve been sleeping better. Although travel has messed that up a fair amount.
So, goals for next week? Do it. Do the thing, instead of thinking the thing.
The above is a blurt of my week and I can’t be bothered to edit it. Soz.
Over and Out!
